Happy Thursday everyone! Since we are all back at school, and we all know that large groups of germy teens and twenty-somethings being in closed quarters leads to illness, the flu has broken out across campus. #FREAKOUT. An email was sent out to students the other day about ways to avoid the flu/how to treat it once you are infected. The email had the classic symptoms listed of course: headache, fever, sore throat, cough, fatigue, etc, and advised ways to stay healthy. Here are some of my tips and tricks to treat each of these symptoms for a happier and healthier you.
1. Headache- The best way to treat your headache is to play music really loudly. The pounding bass in the music will likely synchronize with the pounding in your head, creating a unifying, calming effect. For best results, use ear bud headphones so the noise goes straight to your brain.
2. Fever- If you are feeling a bit hot and clammy due to your illness, stop wearing clothing. You should be in your free and natural state (nude) at all times, allowing for your skin to properly breathe. If a fever is your only symptom, go ahead and just go to class, but make sure you are in your birthday suit. Helpful hint: eat nothing but ice cubes for several days straight to maximize the cooling process.
3. Sore Throat- If your throat is experiencing any discomfort, combat this pain by eating a lot of really spicy foods. I suggest eating Hot Cheetos continuously throughout the state of your illness. Make sure you eat Jalapenos at every meal as well.
4. Cough- If one of your symptoms is a cough, the best way to rid yourself of it is to exercise the cough away. Usually when people have a bad cough, exercise such as running or biking might irritate it. Although that might happen at first, the key is to ignore your body’s pleading for you to stop and to just power through. I suggest maybe getting lost on a run and running a minimum of ten miles. Your cough will thank you.
5. Fatigue- Because your body is working so hard to defend itself from germs, and because you most likely exercised your cough away, you are probably feeling a little tired at this point. Your natural inclination may be to nap, however, you should ignore that impulse. The best way to combat fatigue associated with the flu is to stay up for days at a time. Stay up the whole time you are sick, and you will be feeling better in no time!
If none of my healthful tips work and you still have the flu, follow the email’s instructions and just wear a mask: “Anyone who is symptomatic for the flu should wear a mask.” (I am completely serious, I did not make that part up.)
Have a great end to the week, and thanks for reading
*Please do not follow any of my advice. I made all of these “cures” up because I think I am funny. If you feel sick, go see a doctor!