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About Me:

My name is Bekah and I am a sophomore here at Butler. I am an Art + Design major and love sewing and being creative. I also love dancing (I'm on dance team!), eating cereal, and shopping at Target.

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Bekah

My Self-Realization

Happy Friday all. I have recently realized that I am really awkward when dealing with strangers in a professional setting. Gah!

Last night, Dinner and a Suit came and performed in Starbucks for this month’s Coffeehouse concert. I showed up to help set up for the concert, and only two other members of our committee were there. My comrades left to go bring in equipment, leaving me alone with the band. The crew sat on the other side of the room, so I sauntered over to them and struck up a conversation. I said, “You guys performing tonight?” as I strangely jabbed my fingers in a gun-like position in their direction. They said yes, then I flightily told them I was going to help them set up, then welcomed them and wished them luck performing. It doesn’t sound like that strange of an interaction, but I felt strange about it. Classic me. On an unrelated note: the show was fantastic. The band sounded really good and they all had matching t-shirts and matching haircuts and they were all adorable. Plus, I danced in my seat the whole time, and when I talked to them afterwards and they said they liked my moves. YUSS.

Photo courtesy of Google images

Photo courtesy of Google images

Another moment that revealed my awkwardness occurred this morning. I talked to a prospective art + design student. Two of my professors gave the student and her mother a presentation about our program, and I frequently interjected. After the presentation I was left alone with the two and told them about the art program and Butler in general. I found myself rambling on far too much and having trouble finding the words I wanted to use. I am usually so good talking to strangers, so forreal, what the heck is happening?! I’m usually extremely confident and sure of myself in interacting with others, so the fact I felt so unsure on two occasions feels strange. I have regressed in my strive toward being a normal functioning human.

Here’s my hypothesis: in a casual setting, I am able to ask a stranger literally anything I want. I can ask them the strangest questions in the world and feel totally okay about it because I have made up my mind to talk to this person. I am in control of myself in the situation. In a business-type or somewhat formal setting, there is an expectation for what needs to be done or said, and that throws me off. I am not voluntarily conversing with this person (although the conversation might be pleasant) so I am out of control of myself and what should and should not be said in order to stay relevant to the reason for our interaction. I ramble on for far too long and get that weird type of nervous sweat where only your armpits sweat, probably one more than the other, while the rest of your body stays at a normal temperature (too much info? #sorrynotsorry). I’m not normally in businessy situations with people, so the fact that I’ve had such awkwardness on two occurrences in such a short amount of time worries me. How will I be a real person who has to go on job interviews and stuff if I ramble and stumble over my words and nervous sweat?! Man, it’s so hard being me.

Have a great weekend, and thanks for reading :)

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