I’m not someone driven to thoughts of vengeance often, but when I learn that fellow blogger and student Bekah ate dinner with Chuck Klosterman while I was home cooking up mac and cheese and bantering with my utensils, I start asking a few questions.
1) What does Bekah have that I don’t have?
2) Why is the universe toying with me?
3) Sure I had class all afternoon, but I couldn’t I have at least been asked?
4) Did I ask for the wonderful works of Klosterman to appear suddenly in my life, followed quickly by his visit to campus and the possibility of meeting him, and then in a ironic (I daresay maniacal) twist of fate miss that very opportunity?
5) I’m not making a big deal out of this, am I?
While the answers to these questions are most likely 1) Plenty 2) No 3) Yes 4) No 5) Yes, I’ll continue under the assumption that those questions are rhetorical, and that I am correctly justified in my outrage.
This isn’t to say that life would have been better had I been given the opportunity to eat with him. I probably would have informed everyone I know my of my luck, and then thrown it in the face of our waiter or waitress that I was in fact eating with Chuck Klosterman, and then thrown it in Chuck Klosterman’s face that I was eating with Chuck Klosterman, and then laughed that he’d never have the same opportunity, and then complained to the manager that Chuck Klosterman’s table deserved better service, a round of applause from the entire restaurant, and maybe a tiger jumping through fiery hoops.
Because I haven’t heard anything to the contrary, Bekah probably acted more appropriately. For that I tip my hat.