Shortly I will be departing Indiana for sunnier territory. Here are a few pointers on how to pack in order to have that trip you’ve always wanted.

1) GPS: If you’re driving like I will be, bring that beloved device that will rarely turn you wrong, and knows the politest way to say, “You’re going the wrong way, stupid.”

2) Map: Because I don’t want a robot apocalypse any more than the next guy. When they turn, I want to still be self-sufficient.

3) Snacks: Teddy Grahams. Fruit By The Foot. Dunkeroos. They got us through the 90s, they’ll get us through a 12 hour car ride.

4) Playlists: No one enjoys riding through mountains, trying to find the stations that all seem to have disappeared, while simultaneously avoiding careening off the road. Plug in that playlist. Enjoy.

5) Fedora: It’s time to hit the town in style. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. (And remember, these people will never see you again.)

6) Flip-flops: it’s time to let those feet breathe!

7) Camera: Always make sure you’re prepared for a The Hangover situation. You won’t want to get through the stolen babies and tigers without some way of memorializing the experience.

Sunscreen: Derp.

9) Aloe Vera: Cause let’s get real, who remembers to reapply sunscreen every two hours? Aspiring dermatologists, maybe. For the others, this is sure to mollify the pain.