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Camera: Private Eye

The following interview occurred after the self-inflicted breakage of Andrew Erlandson’s camera on May 2, 2012. Investigators are looking to uncover anything the camera might know about a plot to ruin the end of Andrew’s trip.

One of the last photos taken at the Pantheon.

C: I honestly…I just can’t take it anymore. The pressure to do well is so great, if I just mess up a little–just a little blur!–my pictures are deleted or I’m thrown back into the pocket. Well do you want flash? Do you not? If it doesn’t work for either, why do you keep

trying?!?!…I’m sorry, this is coming from a place of insecurity. Walking around the streets of Rome, I see so many newer models, lenses five times my size. It’s…it’s intimidating.

Focus? Why do you want me to focus?! I’m not even taking a pic–oh. Right. Hehe, sorry ’bout that. Okay, so back to the question. Why? Why did I shut myself down? Why not.

I was a hand me down. I’m old, I’m tired of being dropped and covered in lint and throw into the backpack with the socks. And I’m tired of carrying all of these photos. I’ve seen cobblestone streets, castles, more churches than I can count on my buttons and I’m sick of it. I’m so sick of it I could flash somebody…no, I didn’t expect you to laugh.

The truth is Andrew’s never had a camera before.  He leans on me too much. Am I supposed to be his external memory? Why can’t he remember things on his own? And I know that even though I’m broken, he’s still going to be using me after he returns to the States to show off everything that he accomplished, all the places he went.

So I’m throwing in the towel. I don’t want to be a part of his twisted little game. If he wants to remember his journey, he can go ahead and jot them down in his diary. Excuse me, journal–I know he takes offense. He can go ahead and–wait. Stop, what are you doing?! NO!! NOT MY SD CARD– [End Interview].

Attempts at exposing the truth were unsuccessful. A more complete report will be developed in the future which will hopefully give us a clearer picture of the problem.

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